And They Lived...

Today while at work and looking out of my window, I witnessed an elderly man pull up in his car, slowly get out and even slower walk to the passengers side. He was probably 85, give or take a year. Once he reached the door he opened it, held out his hand and helped out this elegant older woman, presumably his wife of many years. Then, they both walked, shuffled actually, side by side into the building. Their arms clasped around one another, talking, smiling.

I thought, wow! How wonderful to still be able to laugh and just be yourself while with your best friend after so many years. I thought of all the ups and down they must have gone through in their life with one another. I thought of how many milestones and heartaches they both experienced together. It made me smile. In the world today it’s hard to believe that Disney’s “Happily Ever After” is attainable. But, as this couple showed me, sometimes, just sometimes it does come true, and when you find it, like they did, then you should cherish it til the end. 

Attainable? Or false hope?

I don’t know if I’ll ever get to where they are. But I do know some things that they must have had to face to get where they are. Valentine’s day just passed so its fitting to write about l.o.v.e.. I’m not an expert (believe me) but again, I do know some things about the subject; after eight years in a meaningful, happy and loving relationship, I know I know a few things:

- Reality never holds up to fantasy. Sure it’s nice to pretend that one day your prince will come, that you will live in a caste…even with two ugly step sisters, that thought is still appealing. But we just never know what happens to Cinderella and Prince Charming after the gates close on their wedding day, do we? So be happy with what you’ve got. Your prince is right in front of you! Tall, dark, handsome. Sweet, loving, funny. He’s everything you ever wanted and more. And remember, you can hold him; already, something far more than what you could do with the cartoon Prince Charming.

- Pow! Kaboom! Yes there was once fireworks, but then you fall in love. The first time you met, there was a spark! A connection! At the beginning it was amazing, it was a honeymoon that seemed would never end. Then years pass and you get into a routine and you get comfortable. You go through ups and downs and worse, plateaus. But even with these ups and downs, you have to remind yourself that the ups are soooo wonderful! The downs, even if they seem bad at the time, they are not enough to do anything between you two, just make your relationship stronger. Yes, years change the intensity level, but in a good way. After years you become good friends, best friends. You become confidants, lovers. You become one. It's easy to see that sometimes the fireworks go, but they come back. What you have to remember is that no matter how low the fire gets, there is always heat between the two of you.

- This is a good one. You are never 100% happy with yourself. Are you? Think about it, there‘s something you don‘t like about your life and you want to change it. You want a new job, car, house. You think you can lose a couple pounds or get more ripped. You want to be more confident, less loud, more adventurous, less shy. Let‘s face it, if your name isn’t Giselle Bunchden then you’re not perfect. No one is 100% satisfied with themselves, so why do you expect to be 100% happy with others? Why do you expect to be with someone who is 100% for you when you can‘t be 100% for them? Everyone has their flaws, and those flaws are truly what make them special. You have flaws, sorry to break it to you, but they are the reasons why you are truly unique and they are the reasons why your partner fell in love with you.

- This is so simple, yet we lose grasp of it. Be thoughtful, kind, appreciative! You want these and so does your partner.

- Communicate!!! Can’t say that enough. Communicate. About everything. Plain and simple. Talk. Text. Share. Communicate! You don't have to tell every minute detail, but talking is key.

- Prioritize. You don’t want to be second fiddle, so don’t make them. If you’re in it, then be in it. 100%. 110%. Your partner isn’t stupid, they can tell when something’s up. Be in it!

- Sugar pie, have terms of endearments. This one name will connect the two of you in ways that's hard to believe. You can stick to the tried tested and true ones like, sweetie, hun, baby, darling, snookums. Or have silly ones like hunny nut cheerios, snorkle bum bum, doc. Whatever name you pick for one another is special and it connects you in a deeper level. Weird, but true.

- Get physical, but don‘t make me sick when you are. You don’t have to do it like rabbits or always show PDA to be connected with one another. I’m sure you know what I mean so I don’t have to carry on with this subject so I won't. But if they, as the song says, “lost that loving feeling” then it's time to call 9-1-1.

- Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

- Remember, you have something to offer and share!

- Opposites attract. Make the most of your differences! You are attracted to them for a reason. You are the yin to their yang, the cream to their coffee, the mac to their cheese, the .. well you get my point. You give more to your partner then you realize! You complete them in ways they need completing. You are perfect for one another.

- To reiterate the last point, I like who I am, so please don’t change me! They chose you for a reason. You chose them because they were unique and special. Don’t change them.

- Support their personality.

- At the end of the day, you are a team!!! At the end of the day if you don’t get excited to cuddle up with them, or talk to them on the phone, then there’s something wrong. If you still can’t wait to talk about your days with one another, even if it's just about what you had for lunch, then you know you’re doing something right with the right person.

- Have fun! I often hear people say, “I’m so bored with this relationship. We’re like an old married couple.” So knowing that you feel this way, go out and have dates (with one another, not someone else)! Spend time together! Remember that you did and still do have fun together. If you feel like you can’t go to another movie or try another restaurant, then mix things up! Take a class together, make new goals together and have fun achieving them together! Also, what’s wrong with being an old married couple? We should all be so lucky!

That's all I got for relationship tips...do you have any to share for me?

Perhaps I will be lucky enough to one day be the half of a cute old couple (currently I'm the half of a cute young couple).  I know in order to get to happily ever after, I have to go through a relationship...and the one I'm in ain't bad!  My Bebe Love, my Prince Charming, loves me knowing I'm not a princess and he loves me even with all my faults...and because of him, I'm already living a fairy tale!

After 8 years, he's still my Knight in shining armour
(literally, he's wearing a knight costume!)

Good luck and have fun being in love!